A self confessed polar nut, Louise Murray gives us the lowdown on the stories that the polar explorers would rather keep quiet.

 

Going to the loo

 

When its minus 25 or so, there’s only one way to go to the loo and that’s quickly. One guy on a polar race forgot to do up his flies, and ended up with frostbite.  He was evacuated and the end of his willy had to be amputated. Usually, you hike off into the snow with a shovel, dig a hole and cover everything up.  This spring I got too close to a husky pack that was staked out on the ice.  Feeling like I was being watched I turned around to see 6 furry faces drooling. Before I could do a cover up, the lead dog darted in and scarfed up his first hot meal in years.  There was nothing left.  Huskies will eat their own poo, and each others, fresh or frozen.

 

In polar bear country you go to the loo armed with a gun and a flare pistol, in case of being attacked.   Camping on sea ice there’s another peril.  Seals keep holes open all winter so that they can breathe.  After a snowstorm they are often covered up.  This May, I had to rescue a guy who had fallen down a seal hole while going to the loo.  He was wet, pretty messy and mighty embarrassed.

 

 

Food and drink

 

When its very cold, your body burns a lot of calories just to keep warm, about 6500 a day, or three times what you need at home. It is actually quite hard to eat enough.  Most expeditions use dehydrated food.  This is food that has been prepared normally, then dried slowly to remove all moisture.  It is light weight and easy to prepare - just add water.  But the water bit is not so easy.  First you have to find some snow, or preferably ice (its more dense and makes more water when melted).   We never ever use yellow snow, someone or something else has been there before.  Next smash the ice into saucepan sized bits and carry back to the cook tent.  Then melt over a camping stove.   The stoves are small and light and so it can take quite a while to melt enough water to make food or flasks of coffee.  We usually have a bank of large thermos flasks that store any of the precious liquid water that’s been made, as water does not stay that way for long.  Even washing up is a lot more of a chore than at home, apart from the water, the washing up liquid will be frozen solid and need thawing out.  Dishes are wiped clean in snow first, and no one quibbles about wearing rubber gloves.   You serve out small portions so that people can eat the food hot, and go up for more.  I cooked for eighteen people in April, using rations to feed 36.  The pans were about as big as half barrels and any leftovers went to the huskies.

 

Where we live

 

We use lots of different kinds of tents, depending on the season.  I use a 2 man pup tent, much the same as any four season one you could buy in the UK.  The secret of getting a good night’s sleep is a very good sleeping bag and getting into bed with most of your clothes on (including hat and gloves).  During the night the layers gradually come off as you warm up, but you keep them all inside your bag so that they are warm enough to put on the next day.  If you are really soft you can take a kerosene heater into the tent but have to take care in case it falls over in the night.  Anyone in a heated tent sleeps with a fire extinguisher.

 

Travelling around

 

In spring there are two choices, travelling on a sled pulled by huskies (who I swear are fart propelled) at an average of 5 or 6 miles an hour.  Huskies can even poo on the run.   Snowmobiles are like motorbikes on skis, much noisier, but faster than dogs and can do 90 miles an hour though that’s really too fast to see where you are going.  In the spring boats are towed out on sleds over the ice to the water’s edge.

 

Calling for help

 

Most expeditions travel with two satellite phones each with back up batteries, but go easy on it.  The phones cost over a thousand pounds each.  Calls out are about £1.00 a minute, but calls in can be a stonking £10 per minute.  The phones can now send and receive texts anywhere on the planet, including the north and south poles, using a network of 66 satellites.